Monthly Mayhem in the life of an immigrant who just blitzed back to her home country to deal with her belongings after 16 years (5.25)

Farewell to the old farm and back to book writing and... going to conventions as a guest!?

Tuesday time! Thanks for reading Monthly Mayhem!

This was yet another unexpected month of being extremely busy and stressed out, even if it wasn’t strictly necessary. I do generally love being stressed [yes, sarcasm]. But, when you need to fly to the other side of the world to get your things out of someone’s garage after 20ish years… well, such is life!

Return of the smuglord

CREATIVE PROJECTS & ARTICLES

I am loathe to admit that I haven’t had time to write much this month, except for an article about healing called Healing Is Not a Destination, It’s a Journey. It was written as a result of someone suggesting to me that a state of being healed is an achievable goal, which I find largely unrealistic but not in a pessimistic sort of way, but more because I think a state of “healed” is also a state of stasis, and as such, healing is an ongoing process.

Note to Substackers: Once again, these articles are all also available here!

Archipelacon

A couple months ago, I applied for a panel slot at Archipelacon in Åland for a talk called Do We Need a Better Fantasy?. I received a notification this month that it was approved! This is wild for me, because getting a 45-60 minute slot is pretty uncommon for a total newbie in the scene. I suppose this is because Archipelacon is a volunteer-driven non-profit convention, so perhaps they just don’t get a lot of pitches on the whole.

I admit that I’m pretty terrified, but I am also excited. I confirmed my slot and booked my tickets and lodgings and dual emotional support, so it’s definitely happening. I’ll be there talking about the current state of the fantasy genre, the modern love of grimdark and what I think that represents, and how we, as societies, clearly don’t learn from our mistakes, so perhaps it’s time that shift our focus towards writing fantasies that are actually worth fantasizing about.

And yes, if you’re wondering, this is shameless self-promotion for The Vitmar Chronicles, so I’ll clearly be using myself and my own writing as an example of how to do it right.

The Vitmar Chronicles

I wish I could say that I’ve done more work on my draft this month than I have. Between researching what I could do with my belongings back in Canada and planning my flights and this and that, I haven’t had a lot of time in general for creative work. However, I have at least edited part 1/… 7 or so, so progress is being made.

My latest possible release date will be October 4th, but I think I’ll aim for sometime in August instead so I have some breathing room to get it just right, without having to panic, while also not taking a full year to release it. I hope to have a more concrete release date soon!

If you haven’t checked out “The Vitmar Chronicles, vol. I: An Ending & A Beginning,” click here to learn about the series and click here to read the first fifteen pages!

Off the Record

No new interviews this month and nothing currently booked, but my guest list is ever-present.

Note to Substackers: you can also listen to these interviews here!

Gathering of Geeks

My next guest is still a rather busy bee, so no re-schedulings yet, but I’m not in a rush either. I clearly have a lot to do next month, prepping a 45 minute talk and a novella. I asked if we could consider July instead.

Note to Substackers: You can also listen to this podcast on Substack too!

TTRPGS

There was no time for gaming this month, I was too busy being in other countries. There’s probably a good chance that I won’t have a session ready for June either, but hopefully we’ll return in July for more shenanigans in the Darkness.

PROFESSIONAL PROJECTS

Nothing professional under my belt at the moment!

Enslain Metal Merch

I had a great time out with the Merta guys again this month. There were shows in Tampere, Lahti, and Helsinki, and since I adore spending time with them (and because they’re basically my favorite active band these days), I always love going to their shows. I’ll be seeing them again on the first weekend of June!

Helsinki, On the Rocks

LIVE EVENTS

I really, really, really wanted to see Everwave on the 31st, since they happened to be playing at my favorite venue, Playhouse Bar, but I was having such a truly bad day between mental health, feeling awful, and jetlag that I couldn’t summon any energy to go out that day at all. I’m sorry to have missed it though.

PHYSICAL & MENTAL HEALTH

I was very stressed out this month, largely because I had to drop everything and go to Canada. ID flying is neither stress-free nor easy, even if it is affordable, because I rarely know with much certainty if I’ll get on the flight until maybe 15-30 minutes before it starts boarding.

I spent a somewhat stressful week in Canada, hunched in a fabulously unergonomic pose over a heap of Lego that I was counting and attempting to sell. I did end up having quite good success getting rid of enough of my Lego collection, sad as I was to see some of it go.

This was maybe 1/5 or 1/4 of all the Lego I went through

Then I was stressing about how to get my things back to myself… use an unreliable sea shipping company? Pay for a hundred extra bags? Get rid of everything? In the end, I managed to fit all of my belongings into four bags and brought three of them back with me—thanks to my parents for hanging onto that last one until I return once again.

So I’m also a little physically stiff. I probably went up and down stairs about 50 times a day too, so I was fairly sore since I’ve yet to rebuild my physical stamina after winter. I hope to see my osteopath again soon.

Otherwise, my mental health has been surprisingly good, all stressors aside! I didn’t even drink my St John’s wort tea while I was away. Having something external from oneself to focus on makes a huge difference, I’ve noticed.

GENERAL BEARSNESS

So the reason I had to suddenly return to Canada and didn’t visit anyone who wouldn’t come see me was because my parents sold their house on the river valley and needed to clear out their things. I happened to have quite a lot of things there still, so it was probably a good fire under my arse to go back and deal with the last of it.

Popular bird apartments

It is a sad thing to leave behind a place that’s been around for longer than I’ve been alive. It originally started as my dad’s hunting cabin, built sometime in the ‘80s I would wager. It was rebuilt into a home probably the year I left for Finland and has thus always been my home base every time I’ve been back in the country (with the exception of 2020 when I was staying in Chestermere at my aunt’s house while she was wintering in Panama). It’s weird to think that I might never see this view again…

Been enjoying this view on and off for 38 years now

It’s a weird thing to say goodbye to a place that means a lot to you, but that you also don’t visit very often. I will say that it was a big surprise to have to go back, but I’m not sorry I did because it was good to have the opportunity to say goodbye to the place. It may never have been my home, but it was still a place that holds a lot of fond memories from throughout my life.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have less than a month to finish a 45-minute presentation. I’ll be off panicking, cheers!

“Even if it looked like shit, got no likes, made no money; all creative endeavors are worth it”

—

Amie McNee

Coming Next Month…

You already know! Merta shows (at least one, maybe a Tyrantti show if not the other), visiting a friend who moved out of the local town ages ago, and doing my panel at the convention! Thanks for sticking around!

My (not-updated-since-last-month) Best of 2025 playlist can be found here:

LINK TO BEAR

Bear’s Homepage
Bear’s YouTube
Bear’s Instagram

Bear’s Creative Writing

“TVC: Volume I - An Ending & A Beginning” on (Finnish) Amazon
“TVC: Volume I - An Ending & A Beginning” on Google
“TVC: Volume I - An Ending & A Beginning” on Kobo

The usual mountain of fluff